Mikes Musings from Aug09

March '11

2011-03-23T10:37:00.000-07:00

A recent radio horoscope for my February forecast a very favourable happy spell for me so that may explain why there could be an unusual twinkle in my eyes this month - but I’m not keeping my fingers crossed! Most of us like to scan the relative predictions of astrologers without granting them too much credulity but rather being amused by apparent coincidences. I remember my father’s speech at my wedding reception when he mentioned reading that a large weight would shortly be removed from him!
Throughout the period of my working life (and probably because I was meeting a wider variety of people in those days) I was able to be thankful that I wasn’t as restricted as the lack of a particular ability caused others. As I spent less time publicly worrying about my varied health problems (but rather sought ways in private of living with them), I eventually earned a reputation for having a happy and cheerful attitude to life despite my difficulties - the more that my possession of these became known. Although age and amputations have not inconvenienced too much my exchanges via telephone and email, unfortunately I do not have as many face-to-face chats as in former days. As a result, I contemplate despairingly my present condition more whilst being especially appreciative of the former colleagues who DO visit regularly and exchange reminiscences which stimulate thoughts rather than allowing them to stagnate on unpleasant things.

Thanks for reading this
                                               Be happy - it’s worth working for!

"Happiness doesn't depend on any external conditions, it is governed by our
mental attitude..." - Dale Carnegie

"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something
we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have." .- Frederick Koenig

"If you want to be happy, be."                        - Leo Tolstoi

"The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up."  - Mark Twain

"Happiness consists in activity. It is a running stream, not a stagnant pool." - Oliver Wendell Holmes

February '11

2011-02-16T15:22:00.000-08:00

At the time of writing, we are still celebrating the New Year festivities and discussing those selected for the Honours List (I missed out, again!). I expect we can all suggest the names of those we feel should be recognised for their achievements (whether praises are sung or unsung) combined with their everyday demeanour. Hopefully, you will have all paid over your annual subscription for Parish Life by now - the earlier you can do this each year, the better the church’s cash flow. During my time as supervisor of magazine distribution, I was quite surprised to discover the age of the majority of the distributors (including several then older than my present advanced age!) and whilst admiring their (chiefly) long periods of voluntary service, I feared the onset of the time when they would be unable to continue and a waiting list of potential deliverers would have eased things considerably! Please consider whether you can help . and do not hesitate to offer.While on the subject of help, I most urgently echo the recent appeals for everyone to increase their giving .To those who placidly say ” The Lord will provide”, I always reply “Yes but He wouldn’t refuse some help!”The company which hosts my website supplies quarterly reports of weekly totals of visitors thereto and I have just received the one for the last period of last year - sadly, after a peak of just under 200 visits one week in mid-November, there was a steady decrease to the end of the year. However, I must express my thanks to those readers of these articles both here and among my efforts on the internet! Of cause, I am particularly grateful to those who have added their comments online (which do NOT have to be favourable but they make me a VERY happy bunny when they are!) Do not forget that I am always pleased for you to contact me (if not via the web, there is always post, phone and in person) - especially with a suggestion for or a criticism of these articles.In case you missed the last magazine, may I repeat my New Year wishes to you

                                                                                                                        .Cheers
                                                                                                                                             Mike Ireland

“The young do not know enough to be prudent, and therefore
they attempt the impossible - and achieve it, generation after
generation.”                                           - Pearl S. Buck

“The rung of a ladder was never meant to rest upon, but only
to hold a man's foot long enough to enable him to put the other
somewhat higher.”                - Thomas Henry Huxley

“If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be
lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations
under them.”            - Henry David Thoreau

“There are no shortcuts to any place worth going."             - Beverly Sills

"Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss you;ll land among
the stars."                                                                              - Les Brown

November '10

2011-02-16T11:45:00.000-08:00

I admit that being referred to as a "stick in the mud" doesn't over-worry me. A failure to be infatuated by pursuing the ever-promoted methods of gaining personal success has meant that I never became the Prime Minister nor ever ascended to any high office in the world of work. Instead, I kept my head down ("beneath the parapets" is an expression I've often heard) and paid more respect to the worlds of common sense and experience.

The best remembered and most useful lesson from my schooldays (around some sixty years ago!) came from someone whom many would consider to be one of the last type of person to offer valuable "pearls of wisdom". It was our maths master, George T. Beckwith, who told us to "always check your answer for reasonableness". I've lost count of the number of times that following this advice and rejecting an erroneous line of thought has saved one's bacon as well as provoking admiration! In the days when I did weekly supermarket shopping, I used to keep a running total in my head of the cost of the items and surprise the cashier by tendering the exact sum! Of course, beside the successful use of this tenet in solving problems of mental arithmetic, many everyday queries are also covered.

When pocket calculators first became publicly available, I little foresaw their widespread use in addition, particularly by shop assistants and felt quite embarrassed at their use, particularly for only a few items. I became self-taught on computing before I found them most helpful when I was church treasurer Speaking of computing reminds me of the plethora of jokes (mostly amusing!) circulating via the internet today. Although current surveys show that many more folk in this country can now access computers than those who can't, I'll repeat one of the jokes which made me smile:

The world of computers has taken many of our familiar everyday words and given them completely different meanings! A DISC used to be something that slipped when you hurt your back. A WEB was what a spider made, and a RAM was a male sheep A NET was for fishing or to hold your hair in place and a MOUSE was a furry little creature with whiskers. BUGS and VIRUSES were something you caught that made you ill, and CHIP went with fish. A HACKER was someone with a bad cough and a CURSOR was someone with bad language. A LOAD went on a lorry and a BOOT went on your foot. You found builders or caravans on a SITE and you parked your car on a DRIVE. A ZIP held your clothes together and a FLOPPY meant limp You hung your washing ONLINE, You sent a CARD at CHRISTMAS, and a DESKTOP was a place for your blotter. You called a butler or a waitress a SERVER and a religious artefact was an ICON. WALLPAPER brightened! up a room and

MOTHER BOARD was mum when she was fed up!

Times change, don't they? Not always for the better!           All the best,                     Mike Ireland

“Affirmation statements are going beyond the reality of the present into the
creation of the future through the words you use in the now."             - Louise L. Hay

"Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that
you plant."                                                      - Robert Louis Stevenson

“You've got to win in your mind before you win in your life.”                - John Addison
“Any idea, plan, or purpose may be placed in the mind through
repetition of thought.”                                             - Napoleon Hill

“End your day by privately looking directly into your eyes in the mirror and saying, 'I love you!' Do this for thirty days and watch how you transfe   - Mark Victor Hansen

"...repetitive words and phrases are merely methods of convincing the subconscious mind. It’s the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief. And once that belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen."                                              - C.M .Bristol

January '11

2011-01-28T14:44:00.000-08:00

First of all, may I wish you, whether a regular or new reader, a Happy New Year. To celebrate this time, I’ll try to refrain from grumpy thoughts albeit the weather at the time of writing is somewhat inclement. I don’t know now what it will be like when you get this; probably, most of us long for an improvement anyway.

In case the weather is still unfavourable when this article appears, in an attempt to cheer you up, I’ll mention some things where people are pleased at the onset of snow. (prompted by radio listeners’ comments). When I saw the refuse lorry reversing down our snow-covered cul-de-sac, I felt a tinge of pride remembering when I used to calculate the operatives’ pay. Those who have to remove chewing gum from icy pavements must be pleased, also farmers who will spend less on insecticides after a cold spell has killed many of the pests. Apart from strict dieters (for medical or personal reasons), the majority of folk prefer to have an alleged excuse to eat cakes and puddings. Reluctant gardeners welcome the time when their white garden can look as attractive as their neighbour’s.

I expect that we may know of (and, possibly, envy) those unaffected by our weather, probably because of being abroad on holiday.. Mine include a local newsreader who honeymooned in Jamaica and a friend who went to Australia. Good for them!

The following thoughts demonstrate my tendency to retain my feelings as a former chorch treasurer - firstly, I hope you didn't keep your magazine deliverer waiting too long while you searched for some cash for the subscription. We owe a huge debt of gratitude to tho volunteers who make sure we get our magazine each month, regardless of the weather. We have been reminded of the desire (need?) to increase subscrilpion levels; an easy way is for readers to show their neighbours a copy and tell them the advantages of having it regularly (not forgetting the discount or value as a local trade directory). It may well produce useful results if you leave a recent copy on the pile of reading materialis in the waiting area of such Thorpe organisations as hotels, hairdressers, doctors and several other places..

Thanks for your time reading this.
                                                            All the best for 2011

"Almost all absurdity of conduct arises from the imitation of those whom
we cannot resemble."                                                     - Samuel Johnson

"Once conform, once do what others do because they do it, and a kind
of lethargy steals over all the finer senses of the soul."
                                                         - Michel Eyquem de Montaigne

"Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version
of somebody else."                                   - Judy Garland

"Almost every man wastes part of his life in attempts to display qualities
which he does not possess, and to gain applause which he cannot
keep."                                - Samuel Johnson

"It is the chiefest point of happiness that a man is willing to be what he
is."                                             - Desiderius Erasmus

December '10

2010-12-17T13:42:00.000-08:00

I must start these thoughts by echoing previous expressions of praise and thanks to Olga Bradshaw and Ann Cox for enabling and organising the Autumn Fair and Grand Raffle so well for their first attempt after Auriol Hughes’ many valiant years. As these articles consist of personal thoughts, I make no apology for making mention of some especially pleasing events there:-

Getting a birthday presentation from the mayor, Russell James, a friend of long standing.
Meeting Chloe Smith (in person: we had previously only exchanged emails!).
Winning a Raffle prize of some tasty shortbread biscuits (although their consumption was restricted by my diabetes!). My wife had been lucky enough to win Jenny Fuller’s embroidered painting, a fine piece of work that has been much admired.

I was particularly pleased to see people I do not meet (and seldom hear from) during the year; a most sincere “thank you” to those who did come over to have a word.

On a recent 10-day stay in hospital I was impressed by the high standards of the food and explained to several of the nurses that I enjoyed their treatment of me and my eager desire to be discharged and return home had nothing to do with them or their colleagues! In fact, this visit was notable in that fewer members of staff invoked my anger by ignoring my over 48 years’ home experience of actually living with diabetes 24/7 . I deliberately refrain from mentioning the exceptions here for fear of wriing something I may regret; details are best confined to a letter to the Chief Executive. Those who accepted knowledge so learned soon earned my respect. .Among my other illnesses is the relatively rare ataxia (causing balance problems). Because this condition is seldom come across in everyday medicine, many inexperienced doctors, understandably, often ask me to perform standard diagnostic motions and this repetition annoys me. I mentioned thiis to a senior doctor (who later discharged me!) and he promised not to ask for this - he didn’t, although another doctor did that very afternoon!

May I wish you ALL a Very Happy Christmas.

Mike Ireland

"By appreciation, we make excellence in others our own property." - Voltaire

"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something
we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have."                             . -                                                                                                        Frederick Keonig

"Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child,
and the smiling faces."                                                                  - Cicero

"If a fellow isn't thankful for what he's got, he isn't likely to be thankful for
what he's going to get."               - Frank A. Clark

October '10

2010-11-01T14:01:00.000-07:00

I make no apology for having some opinions which may well make me appear to be an old-fashioned stick-in-the-mud. In fact, I am quite proud of those which appear to be (to me, at least!) simple, obvious, common sense thoughts which seem to be shared by a considerable number of my contemporaries. Of course, many generations have yearned for “the good old days” following happy reminiscences of their former lives with associated things, people & methods. The older one gets, the more memories are collected, hopefully in pleasant nostalgia. Many practises are not performed today either through lack of being taught (following changes in “the norm”) or because of fear of contravening a Health and Safety Law - often blamed unjustly but not always so!

When I contacted several former bank colleagues to ask whether they would like to get in touch with me, I was delighted to get emails (some with photos!) describing further happenings in the lives of the senders and their families. Some of you already know that for some time (and even more, now!) I’ve spent most of my time at the computer and consider myself fortunate to exchange emails with some people I really like. As is my custom in these Musings, I’ll refrain from mentioning anyone by name, to prevent any embarrassment - to myself as well as to others!.

Emailing has been described as the modern form of penfriendship; I’m certainly pleased to receive emails, whether for a single instance or leading to a continuing exchange (of information, jokes, photos, messages, etc.). I can even be contacted on Facebook but I don’t Tweet (just coo gently!).

                                          Hope to hear from you, soon,
                                                        All the best, mike-Ireland@live.com

"Keep adding, keep walking, keep advancing."   - Saint Augustine

"It is not necessary to change. Survival is not mandatory."         - W. ds Deming

"Happiness, greatness, pride - nothing is secure, nothing keeps." - Euripides

“When you are through changing, you are through."                      - Bruce Barton

"Our only security is our ability to change."                              - John Lilly

“Each contact with a human being is so rare, so precious, one
should preserve it.”                                                                            - Anais Nin

September '10

2010-09-24T03:44:00.000-07:00

I have written before about my present inability to access the computer which I previously used which has, unfortunately, meant that I am unable to retrieve some information which would simplify the composition of these articles. Nevertheless,.I have chosen a few anniversaries which mean something special to me as the theme for this month's Musings. For instance, September 11th marks the thirtieth birthday of Radio Norfolk (to which my clock radio is tuned so I wake each morning to it and then hear it all day unless turned off for the rare visits). We all remember that date for a particularly sad event - when expressing dates, Americans quote the month before the day, as in 911. Another sad September remembrance is the 17th, which would have been the 70th birthday of the greatly-missed Roy Waller.

Of course, I particularly remember the 24th for the birthday of my mother, who would have been 100 this year! That same birthday is shared by a former colleague who used to sit opposite me at work, hence the standing joke that (bcause of that) she saw me more than my wife did at that time!

And the 30th sees, this year, the 16th anniversary of my retirement.

All the Best

"It takes a long time to become young."                           - Pablo Picasso

"There is still no cure for the common birthday."                 - John Glenn

"The best birthdays of all are those that haven't arrived yet."- Robert Orben

-"To me, old age is always fifteen years older than I am." - Bernard Baruch

" Inside every older person is a younger person - wondering what the hell happened.."        Cora Harvey Armstrong

"If you carry your chldhood with you,you never become older
- Maurice Chevalier

"There are three hundred and sixty-four days when you might get un-birthday presents ... and only one for birthday presents, you know."            - Lewis Carroll

"You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime." - John P. Grier

"The greatest comfort of my old age, and that which gives me the highest satisfaction, is the pleasing remembrance of the many benefits and friendly offices I have done to others."- Marcus Cato

August '10

2010-09-06T05:40:00.000-07:00

Last month’s item consisted of the ode written for (and presented at) my retirement. Like many mature folk, I think back on happy times that are long gone, while certain things often stimulate reflection. A recent example of this is looking through an album containing the staff newsletter page and several photographs of the above occasion as well as some lists and cards, both with messages of thanks and good luck wishes. Seeing these again brought many happy smiles and thoughts (although some sad ones, too).

In previous Musings , I’ve written about the importance played by friendship in one’s life, whether a passing companionship or especially something closer and longer lasting. I consider myself fortunate in having enjoyed both throughout my life; some have even added messages to my website! When visiting a local body’s, I was surprised to see the name of a former colleague (who had written in my above card from the Broads Authority) so I emailed the quoted address to ask if it was him. It was and he came to see me in my recent spell of respite care. We hadn’t met for almost 16 years, so we had a lot to catch up with!

A local friend for many years came round to see me and we spent an afternoon reminiscing over old times, including our earlier days with the Drama Group! He usually played the male lead while I provided the sound effects (hopefully, but not always, at the right time!). We had a grand time chatting and laughing about former happenings in our Thorpe lives. Our mutual enjoyment of the occasion was confirmed in a subsequent exchange of emails. Another thing I’ve mentioned before is the fun to be had by entering a name into a computer search and seeing what suggestions come up; do you think of Mike Ireland the champion speed skater, the leader of the group 'Holler', or me? I later did that for my friend and discovered him in a group where the present president was a colleague at my first job - wish I'd discovered that sooner!

As I write this, I've just enjoyed a visit from another friend and former work colleague of long standing. What memories we shared! Keep smiling!

"The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off."

- Abe Lemons

"There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want."

- Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes

"Our life, exempt from public haunt, finds tongues in trees, books

in the running brooks, sermons in stones, and good in everything."

- William Shakespeare

"When you walk into a room, a healthy, beautiful smile is incredibly

important." - Susan Anton

"Whenever I run into prejudice, I smile and feel sorry for them, and I say to myself, There's one more argument for birth control." - Freddy Fender

"You're never fully dressed without a smile." - Martin Charnin

"Your smile will give you a positive countenance that will make

people feel comfortable around you." - Les Brown

July '10

2010-07-08T08:37:00.000-07:00

I'd just returneed home from some rearranged respite away when I remembered these notes and the fast-approaching deadline! So I cheated and this month's item is an ode I wrote and delivered at my retirement 'do' nearly 16 years ago!
The time has come - I read the fax - To talk of many things,
Like sealing wax and concil tax and telephone that rings!
Like when my post was advertised And it appeared in Press;
The huge response had me surprised 'Though why I.d never guess..
T'was April when arthritis caused A break in my career
I never guessed then, when I paused, That I'd be standing here.
I spent 2 weeks in Aylsham where They eased my aches and woes.
I oft' recall a Hazel there At pool ,who dried my toes.
A new life-style comes into view: More time for rest (and play)
For things I always wished to do But WORK got in the way!
Of course, I'll miss the friends I've made: I say without embarrassment,
But I won't miss, I am afraid The sexual harassment!
I'm glad to see you all, by gum! You're here for farewell greetings,
So, thanks for making time to come And code it to "Staff Meetings".
I must give thanks to all who gave Me help along the way.
I'll not name names: like that I'll save Omitting folk. Oy vay!
A lot of you have given me So many lifts by car;
With limited mobility (even more so, now) I'm very grateful - ta!
Thanks for your generous response: Each sponsorship request:
With last year's quiz for Age Concern I strove myself! Impressed?
You know that I like Triv'ya - hey, I heard on radyo chat
James Hipwell, too, retires today. Now, not a lot know that!
I'm sad some faces can't be here I'll try to make amends
So, think of those who are not near Remember "Absent Friends".
I went to a meeting about the Review And spoke to ex-leader, John Lee;
When Mary Palmer said, We few Were Broadland Escape Committee!
I really do appreciate The 'phone calls & the cards
And letters too, which replicate Warm wishes, kind regards.
Thanks for the gifts which I'll enjoy You've really done me proud!
For I am such a lucky boy And you're a smashing crowd!
But there's no need at all to weep - I hope to still pop round.
For UNISON treasurer's a post I'll keep Until replacement's found.
So, thanks for hearing this right through (To write it was quite hard)
Good Luck with Local Gov. Review And Love from Broadland Bard!

June '10

2010-06-17T13:38:00.000-07:00

For this month's Musings, I've chosen the subject of humour (note the English spelling!). These days, I don't often see other people, let alone have a conversation with them, so I get most humour from the radio as well as jokes & cartoons sent in emails as is the occasional funny text item. You can easily understand why I'm keen to get emails, although some contain sad news. They help survival in the face of unpleasant things in life, whether in the world at large or closer to home.

Appreciated humour may be displayed by the recipient's laughter or smile; this is particularly apparent at a live performance. Of course, everyone has their own individual preferences: here are mine. My favourites include the songs of Richard Stilgoe, Jake Thackray & the Barron Knights as well as the acts of Tommy Cooper, Morecambe & Wise, the Goons & Benny Hill. It's quite clear that, like many other "oldies", there are quite a few subjects which make me miss the "good old days" - to compensate for this, I must say that, nowadays, I find the political radio reports of Paul Rowley most amusing. Some say that they find amusing things in many of the activities of successful & would-be politicians (especially durihg the period leading up to an election)!

It's quite likely that you already know of my habit of writing the occasional ode (some have even earned appreciative noises!); in a former job, I gained the title of Broadland Bard! Some of my compositions have appeared in print in magazines & a book. Some have even been read on the radio (one was a mini-pantomime!).

Keep smiling

"Cynicism is humour in ill health," - H.G.Wells

"Most people get a fair amount of fun out of their lives"
- George Orwell

"Most schemes of political improvement are very laughable"
- Samuel Johnson

"Perhaps one has to be very old before one learns how to be amused rather than shocked." - Pearl Buck

"Wear a smile and have friends; wear a scowl and have wrinkles."

- George Eliot

May '10

2010-05-24T12:29:00.000-07:00

Another spell in hospital has reminded me of something I wished to say last month - please, allow me to include it here. Given the multitude of illnesses & their complications, no medic can be expected to know immediately every conceivable cure for all complaints However, many of the staff (chiefly quite junior!) speak with an apparent air of authority on a broad variety of medical matters. Their subsequent generalisations & refusal to listen to the actual experiences of the patient destroy any credibility for knowledge they may have gleaned from a textbook which must, of necessity, concentrate on 'the norm' - in other words, the average patient. I, naturally, write on behalf of diabetics but the universal principle applies that we are each individuals & this should, surely, affect our treatment. When fortunate enough to discuss my illness with senior members of staff who listened keenly to my former experiences, I felt greater confidence in their healing ability - shouldn't this be standard procedure? Difficulty of ready communication with those of a different native tongue presents more problems. .
I’ll now proceed with what I had originally planned for this month (on reflection, the opening paragraph isn‘t out of place with this theme!). One discovers that age brings not only experience but also the realisation that not all contemporary things lead to an improvement on previous life. This may cause me to be called ‘a grumpy old man’. Unfortunately, the 'grin & bear it' spirit of former years seems to have gone completely. A recent example of this is seen by the earlier observation about our being thrown into turmoil by adverse weather conditions when we used to cope, not always easily but we managed! A common saying is that “It’s no use voting for any of the political parties; none of them will change anything!”. Surely, any fault lies with society’s changes of attitude?
When I first began work (in ‘a job for life’), we were told that we should save for our futures by personal savings & pension contributions. I now find that the level of these is such that I can’t get a grant for such necessary (but expensive) items as a ramp & bathroom conversion to a wet room. This is particularly annoying when I consider how I’ve dutifully restricted myself (& my family) by not buying a car (excepting my first two mobility scooters) or going on a holiday abroad (seeking warmer weather? Have those who do so seen every where in this country?).
There are varied views on the current proliferation of mobile ‘phones; my first one was to seek help if needed when my scooter broke down. Would someone, please, explain their current widespread use; particularly by youngsters. Mine’s now used during ‘free’ time; I could normally manage without one, relying on the landline. I remember my parents’ first ‘phone being a ‘party line’ shared with a neighbour who had an extension in their bedroom. The toddler daughter would lift the receiver but nothing salacious was relayed! I expect the above may provoke some icy comments but my closing wishes to you all are no less warm!

“People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can't find them, make them." - George Bernard Shaw

“The world we have created is a product of our thinking; it cannot be changed without changing our thinking. “ - Albert Einstein

“No matter where you go or what you do, you live your entire life within the confines of your head.”                                     - Terry Josephson

“A man is what he thinks about all day long.“ -  Ralph Waldo Emerson

“A man's life is what his thoughts make of it. “              - Marcus Aurelius

“The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind.“                - William James

April '10

2010-04-21T06:59:00.000-07:00

It’s no secret that I owe a deep debt of gratitude to members of the Health Service for the friendly delivery of their healing skills to me over many years. For this set of Musings I’ve chosen some hospital stays, in no particular order (which is just as well because I can’t remember all of the dates!). Here, a ’stay’ is a period of more than a day; I don’t know whether I should give a health warning to sensitive readers! I think my first was in the early 60s when I went to Kelling with pulmonary tuberculosis (“TB”); type 1 diabetes was quickly diagnosed, so I’ll soon qualify for a 50 years’ award! My memories of my time there include many with my tape recorder which I used to augment the records available for my daily radio request show. One day, I replayed the pre-recorded first part of the show while walking round the rest of the rooms in that ward. You can imagine how smug I felt when one headphoned patient called : “You’d best hurry back: the record’s ending!“. On my first stay in the old N & N (with broken ribs) a Good Shepherd choir friend mentioned me on his Hosp’l Radio Nch request show. Fortunately for me, memories of my hospital stays there are chiefly happy non-medical ones; exceptions include stays after operations, when I could only admire the surgeon’s skill. One procedure involved replacing some diseased ribs with plastic ones & the neighbouring cartilage with muscle from my other side!

Subsequent stays with rheumatoid arthritis followed at Aylsham & the N & N, where one of our former curates came to visit & a nurse asked if he was my brother! 6 years ago I had 6 weeks in the ‘new’ N & N for toe amputation - when I resisted approaches to give up the PCC treasurership as I was determined to complete my 10 years in that post. Last year, I returned for 3 stays; angioplasty had saved my left leg in the past but not the right one this time, so I lost the leg. Subsequent complications & a period of rehabilitation at Pine Cottage (see my Musings for last August) meant that I was away from home for 11 weeks!

During my hospitalisations, I've been greatly cheered by receiving cards & visits, especially those from Jackie, who came to see me practically every day. I also particularly appreciated visits from a former Radio Norfolk presenter who'd been amused at my wearing two sets of headhones so I could listen to his show & HRN requests at the same time! Now long retired from the BBC, he then worked on HRN & often came for a chat (usually followed by a mention on air). I've written already of my deep gratitude to members of the chaplaincy team. Now, then, take care.

“For the world, I count it not an inn, but an hospital.”
                                                                                - Sir Thomas Browne

“Hospital rooms seem to have vastly more ceiling than any rooms people live in.”                                                               - Bertha Dorman

“Hospitals are only an intermediate stage of civilization.”
                                                                            - Florence Nightingale

“In hospitals there is no time off for good behaviour.” - Josephine Tey

“The ultimate indignity is to be given a bedpan by a stranger who calls you by your first name.”                                          - Maggie Kuhn

“It's like a convent, the hospital. You leave the world behind and take vows of poverty, chastity, obedience.”                  - Carolyn Wheat

March '10

2010-03-24T12:09:00.000-07:00

Although both my parents were naturally right-handed, my father exceptionally used his 'eating irons' left handedly - but that is just one of several things I didn't inherit from him (another, I'm afraid, is gardening!). While I was in hospital last year, my arms became swollen (making the selection of sites for blood tests awkward or even impossible) followed by my hands, which also lost their grip (already restricted by age). This latter was restored the day I was due to transfer to Pine Cottage, surprisingly (since I'm naturally right handed) to my left hand first! Today, I can use both hands to pick up things but I prefer to use my left hand to do this (especially when moving objects on my bedside cupboard as my right hand often needs steadying by the other one). However, I still write with my right hand.

The frequency of left handed adults is reported as being 7 - 10% of the adult population. The majority of those I have come across have been of an artistic (in its broader sense) nature; this ties in with the popular conception (famous examples being Peter Scott, M.C. Escher, Brad Pitt, Marilyn Monroe, Jean Boht & William Roache). Left handed adults who do not display this artistic tendency in life need not feel frustrated but should consider those famous in other fields, like Otto von Bismarck, Fidel Castro, James Callaghan, Joan of Arc, Helen Keller, Winston Churchill, Julius Caesar, Lord Baden-Powell, Charlemagne & Terry Waite.

Whether you're right or left handed, many thanks for the comments (usually favourable!) which I've received about my.Musings - you probably already know that, if required, early articles are accessible via links on my web site; I plan to add a link to: www.mikesmusings3.blogspot.com (for articles from last August). Whether your source is paper or electroniic, please get in touch with any comments or thoughts which may arise.

All the best

"put your hand into the hand of God." - Minnie T. Hawkins

"Let not the right side of your brain know what the left side doeth."                                                   - George Bernard Shaw

"The right half of the brain controls the left half of the body. This means that only left handed people are in their right mnd "   - Author unknown

"God made everyone right-handed, the truly gifted overcome it."                                                                                      - Jadu Saiki

"It is often argued that left-handed batsmen have an advantage compared with the right-handers. I do not agree."                           - Frank Woolley

February '10

2010-02-26T14:32:00.000-08:00

I hope that, by now, you are enjoying the new year, even if it means no more to you than writing "2010" on our cheques - although we write them much less than we used to. Perhaps you're priding yourself on keepimg a resolution you made last month - but should have done some time ago!

For this month's 'Musings' I've chosen a variety of subjects, although doing this risks being overtaken by events - I hope this next thought will be..I was horrified to see the appeals for a new treasurer in the magazine & the notice sheets: I felt ashamed that a town of our size didn't have a waiting list of people ready to take over the post when needed! After all, there is plenty of help available & the practical experience would seem ideal for one of the many dealing with figures (& even more so for someone studying), especially with some computer use.

That leads me to repeating an anxiety I've written about before, echoing feelings expressed at an APCM by the late Janet Blackburn. In most organisations, there's an urgent need for an influx of younger members - hopefully, to boost the committee & prevent the demise of the group. Mention of Janet reminds me of her universal popularity; I was particularly fond of her (she came to see me in hospital more than once) & I like to think that she & her Mum sensed this.

Thank you to all those who've said that they like reading these articles, Unfortunately, an illness over Christmas put the kibosh on my plan to reach my desktop computer by the end of 1999 - the good news is that I can access a laptop to my new email address ( mike-ireland@live.com ) but NOT the Freeserve one. Well, not yet, anyway! Keep on keeping on.

"One should oblige everyone to the extent of one's ability."

- Jean de La Fontaine

"Keep right on to the end of the road."                              - Harry Lauder

"Let us do or die."                                                               - Robert Burns

"To like the same things is true friendship."                                  - Sallust

January '10

2010-02-04T11:53:00.000-08:00

Now is the time of the year when many (chiefly males; mostly younger but many young at heart despite years) especially in the times before mini computers, played with model railway sets acquired at Christmas. I can't recall whether my own 0 gauge tank loco set was a present then, or for a birthday, but I can remember an excited snall boy being up before 7 (unheard of, then!) and playing alone in his bedroom with a circular track layout. Any future worries as to the choice of my presents after then were answered and I soon had additional track and rolling stock to create an enlarged layout running out of my bedroom and along the landing or even sometimes in the lounge. This sometimes caused great consternation on my part when the enclosed layout just failed to meet; this problem was solved by the subsequent discovery that a friend nearby would freely lend his mini track part which often readily filled the gap and saved many a frustration. Whn, in later days, I thought of resurrecting the system for my young son, I was horrified to find that a broken spring couldn't be replaced where I tried - the entire set was banished to an outside store!

A former school colleague came round one evening just after I bought some railway accessories for my son’s Lego and we adults spent many happy hours constructing and running track with trains . That, perhaps, started an interest in the hobby which developed in both sons through model layouts and their future jobs as train guard/ticket sellers (although with different companies). The obligatory shift work meant that my elder son had to give up attending meetings of the local Model Railway Society.

Can anyone enlighten me as to the connection, if any, between model railways and members of the clergy? I have come across several examples with more than a passing interest throughout the country; as well as quite a few in Thorpe, ranging from curates to canons - and that doesn’t include the Reverend Audry who wrote the famous Thomas the Tank Engine stories! Don't mention sexism!

During my early banking tine, I had a spell as relief clerk at the Wymondham office; on days when there was no suitable ‘bus, I accompanied the relief manager on the train. When I introduced her as “my manager” to a friend in the seat in front, he burst out laughing and said that I sounded like a pop star!

Many of us suffered sad experiences which made 2009 truly an annus horribilis. May we all enjoy a Very Happy New Year! Best Wishes,

December '09

2010-02-04T08:50:00.000-08:00

When considering a theme for this month, I thought of Father Christmas & his snowy beard - did you know that the study of beards is called pogonology? I’ve never excelled on a pogo stick & I definitely won’t now! Beards used to be viewed as signs of maturity or distinction & were rarely seen but now, with changing fashion, they are more prevalent. They merely indicate the ability to grow them! I first grew mine during a spell of ill health when I wasn’t shaving. A venture as producer & director followed so I have always told enquirers that I grew it for a play. They are quite impressed by this!

I soon found that beard pulling is an attractive proposition for youngsters especially grandchildren (unless they suffer from pogonophobia -an irrational fear of beards). A former submariner friend told me that he had grown a beard whilst at sea & wrote to warn his wife, quoting that a girl hasn‘t lived until she‘s been kissed by a man with a beard. No comment!!

There are two major misconceptions about facial whiskers - one being that their wearer has a second chance of tasting food. The other considers that their growth produces considerable saving in time & money - forgetting those used in trimming the beard & moustache & shaving the beardless parts of the face & chin. These were very restricted during my hospitalisation when my appearance soon resembled Saddam Hussein. May I wish you all a Happy Christmas. All the best.

Let’s see what some others have said:-

“There are two kinds of people in this world that go around beardless - boys & women - & I am neither.” - Greek saying

“Tradition wears a snowy beardi; romance is always young.”

- John Whittear

“He that hath a beard is more than a youth & he that hath no beard is less than a man.”

- William Shakespeare

“An old Spanish saying is that a kiss without a moustache is like an egg without salt." Madison Wein

“Kissing a man with a beard is a bit like going on a picnic - you don’t mind going through a little bush to get there.” - Minnie Pearl

November '09

2010-02-03T11:28:00.000-08:00

In this country, November is the traditional month for Bonfire Night (take care & protect your pets!). People often say (especially at election time) that Guy Fawkes had the right idea in planning to blow up Parliament. In my younger days, this was always on the 5th but tempus fugit & now the occasion is usually moved to the nearest Saturday, especially for public celebrations. Other changes include such things as an earlier appearance for sale of fireworks, Christmas & Easter items - all subjects for much debate.

An old proverb is that There’s no smoke without fire so I’ll include a few thoughts about smoking. I remember being the sole occupant of a railway compartment on a journey back to Norwich from an introductory short works course when I had pre-purchased a small packet of cigarettes. My dislike of the one I tried led me to say later that I gave up smoking when I left school! Although I cannot remember ever seeing my dad smoke, he favoured a pipe in his younger days. This was borne out in family conversations & photographs. At one time my mum smoked heavily, following the example of her mother, until the death of the latter from cancer. Mum stopped smoking abruptly but a replacement addiction to sweets caused a sudden weight gain until their intake was controlled.

On the subject of addicts, I recall seeing a small device in which cigarette papers & tobacco were placed, turned & sealed to ‘roll your own’ to save on the cost of the commercial product. The money saved by giving up is not available to the non-smoker! A colleague at my first job used to light up & smoke automatically when answering a phone call. A fellow inmate at the rehabilitation centre would go & smoke where he felt he would not be seen by the staff! In the interim period before the complete ban, the former NALGO branch treasurer passed over the books to me one lunch time in the room designated for smoking. What an aroma!

I hope to get to the Autumn Fair - see you there!

All the best.

“Please to remember the 5th of November.” - Anon.

“Parliament is the longest running farce in the West End."

- Cyrli Smith

“Cigarettes are killers that travel in packs.” - Unknown

“Much smoking kills live men and cures dead swine.”

- George Prentice

“Every form of addiction is bad.” - Carl Juno

October 09

2010-02-02T09:05:00.000-08:00

October sees another year added to my age - I can remember Norwich City Football Club playing in Division III(S); was it really that long ago? I still recall often hearing at school that tempus was fuggitting very quickly. This misquotation becomes increasingly true as one gets older. It is with growing sadness that I learn of the passing of former colleagues.

Age & a recent disability have prompted my resignation from several Church organisations (e.g. PCC); I shall miss attending the meetings with the relevant discussion & access to information. I had been cheered by the ensuing messages of thanks & good luck.

This year is passing quite speedily; I hope you have been able to enjoy a holiday, whether abroad or in this country. If you normally spend much of your time at work, a few days’ respite can be very beneficial.

I’m writing this as I lay on my bed resting after three consecutive weeks of hospital visits - at least, the verdicts at each were encouraging, which reminds me that when asked (usually on the phone) if I am allright, my answer is normally “Half right, all left!”.

“Age only matters when one is aged.”                                - Pablo Picasso

"Time flies like lightning. Fruit flies like bananas.”                      - Anon
.
“Time is slipping underneath our feet.”               - Edward Fitzgerald

“Age is just a number.”                                                                         - Anon.

“All work & no play makes Jack a dull boy.”                          - Proverb

All the best

September 09

2010-02-02T04:01:00.000-08:00

I believe that I may have expressed some of these thoughts earlier, either in previous Musings or elsewhere. Consequently, I apologise for any duplications.

As those who have seen my computer room know, I used to be able to manoeuvre myself (surprisingly successfully) through the piles of miscellaneous material deposited (seemingly aimlessly) on the floor. Now, however, I must achieve a lot of clearing to enable me to move about therein in a wheelchair. The main purpose of this tidying is to allow access to my computer - illness & hospitalisation combined to cause much delay in my computing. The District Nurse whose visits used to prompt my exit from my study for treatment said that things would have to change to prevent my going into decline - she knew I was very happy indoors working at my computer.

Nowadays, most people can contact others via the web - I myself have exchanged emails with over half of those listed in our latest annual report as PCC members. I was cheered when Jackie told me on a hospital visit of a phone call she had from one of the Radio Norfolk presenters - some of them had wondered about the lack of emails from me & asked if I was still OK. He was very concerned to learn of my condition & sent a Get Well message over the air. One of the nurses said: You won’t find Radio One doing that!

When in the N&NUH, I had several visits (some with communion) from members of the chaplaincy. I was particularly pleased when one of them took over the weekly communion service at Pine Cottage following the retirement of the chaplain there. After she had spoken about cures in one of her services, I told her how I remembered one of our past rectors preaching on a similar theme. He had said that learning to live with an illness or disability is the nearest thing to a complete cure. How true! I have heard talk of abolishing chaplaincies as part of hospital economies - may this never happen.

While confined indoors pending construction of a ramp to enable access outdooors, I was able to do my bit for the environment. Not a lot but it made me feel good & it would help considerably if many more people did it. Separating the plastic windows & gummed parts of envelopes soon reduces the amount going to landfill. If necessary, scissors may easily be resharpened by cutting silver paper.

Luckily, I recalled the existence & location of a book of sayings which Jackie was able to reach for me so I am able to finish with some quotes:

“Constant repetition will finally succeed in imprinting an idea.”

- Adolph .Hitler

“What can’t be cured must be endured.”                                         - Proverb

“Waste not, want not.”                                                                     - Proverb

“Conversation has a kind of charm about it.”                             - Seneca

August '09

2010-01-29T05:40:00.000-08:00

First of all, I must really apologise for the recent absence of my ’Musings’ - not on this occasion due to lack of inspiration or dried up material. These are both usually corrected - often at the last minute! The real reason was periods of illness which necessitated spells of varying lengths in hospital. May I say a big ‘thank you’ to all who came to see me (both at the N&NUH and my subsequent rehabilitation at Pine Cottage) and for all the cards and messages which cheered me considerably in some rather bleak moments. I was particularly pleased to learn the number who missed my ‘Musings’ - a much larger appreciative readership than I hoped.

There are several reasons why my rehabilitation spell (in the Colman complex) leaves much happier memories than my much longer stay in the acute hospital . I soon discovered the advantages of being in a much smaller unit (only ten beds including one for emergencies). Not surprisingly, they always have a waiting list for admissions and I felt privileged to be one of the ‘chosen ones’. I soon met a nurse who also has diabetes - on a personal note, it was great to speak with someone who understands the complaint.

Much fewer staff were needed in the smaller unit, so it was much easier to learn their names. They were also able to spend much longer with patients enabling us to get to know each other better and thus maintain an improved remedial atmosphere. There were three other chaps in the ward and we discussed the various stages of our treatment. On one thing we were all agreed which was that future life would be very different.
I really admired Mick whose philosophy was ’for every problem there’s a solution’. His great sense of humour also appealed to me - I don’t think I’ll ever forget his remark that he, a double amputee, needn’t go to the pub to get legless! His sensitivity was also seen when, on noticing his granddaughter was disturbed by his condition, he quickly said: “When I get home, I’ll soon dip these ends in fertiliser so I should have them growing by Christmas.’ That restored her smile.

The physio’s soon had me getting about in an electric wheelchair, although my manoeuvres left a lot to be desired. In fact, one of the physio’s made and fixed an ‘L’ sign for the machine - I still have it as a souvenir. As part of the preparation for discharge we were all allowed ‘self medication' of our drugs we kept locked in our cabinets (with details on a blue card as an ‘aide memoir’). We had probably administered our own medication at home and had often done so for many years.

I regret that my computer is not yet accessible so I cannot get to my list of quotes to select some suitable ones. Any emails received since my illness have not been read, let alone acted upon . Normal service will be resumed as soon as possible.