March '11

A recent radio horoscope for my February forecast a very favourable happy spell for me so that may explain why there could be an unusual twinkle in my eyes this month - but I’m not keeping my fingers crossed! Most of us like to scan the relative predictions of astrologers without granting them too much credulity but rather being amused by apparent coincidences. I remember my father’s speech at my wedding reception when he mentioned reading that a large weight would shortly be removed from him!
Throughout the period of my working life (and probably because I was meeting a wider variety of people in those days) I was able to be thankful that I wasn’t as restricted as the lack of a particular ability caused others. As I spent less time publicly worrying about my varied health problems (but rather sought ways in private of living with them), I eventually earned a reputation for having a happy and cheerful attitude to life despite my difficulties - the more that my possession of these became known. Although age and amputations have not inconvenienced too much my exchanges via telephone and email, unfortunately I do not have as many face-to-face chats as in former days. As a result, I contemplate despairingly my present condition more whilst being especially appreciative of the former colleagues who DO visit regularly and exchange reminiscences which stimulate thoughts rather than allowing them to stagnate on unpleasant things.

Thanks for reading this
                                               Be happy - it’s worth working for!






"Happiness doesn't depend on any external conditions, it is governed by our
mental attitude..." - Dale Carnegie

"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something
we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have." .- Frederick Koenig

 "If you want to be happy, be."                        - Leo Tolstoi

 "The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up."  - Mark Twain

"Happiness consists in activity. It is a running stream, not a stagnant pool."  - Oliver Wendell Holmes

February '11

At the time of writing, we are still celebrating the New Year festivities and discussing those selected for the Honours List (I missed out, again!). I expect we can all suggest the names of those we feel should be recognised for their achievements (whether praises are sung or unsung) combined with their everyday demeanour. Hopefully, you will have all paid over your annual subscription for Parish Life by now - the earlier you can do this each year, the better the church’s cash flow. During my time as supervisor of magazine distribution, I was quite surprised to discover the age of the majority of the distributors (including several then older than my present advanced age!) and whilst admiring their (chiefly) long periods of voluntary service, I feared the onset of the time when they would be unable to continue and a waiting list of potential deliverers would have eased things considerably! Please consider whether you can help . and do not hesitate to offer.While on the subject of help, I most urgently echo the recent appeals for everyone to increase their giving .To those who placidly say ” The Lord will provide”, I always reply “Yes but He wouldn’t refuse some help!”The company which hosts my website supplies quarterly reports of weekly totals of visitors thereto and I have just received the one for the last period of last year - sadly, after a peak of just under 200 visits one week in mid-November, there was a steady decrease to the end of the year. However, I must express my thanks to those readers of these articles both here and among my efforts on the internet! Of cause, I am particularly grateful to those who have added their comments online (which do NOT have to be favourable but they make me a VERY happy bunny when they are!) Do not forget that I am always pleased for you to contact me (if not via the web, there is always post, phone and in person) - especially with a suggestion for or a criticism of these articles.In case you missed the last magazine, may I repeat my New Year wishes to you

                                                                                                                        .Cheers
                                                                                                                                             Mike Ireland

“The young do not know enough to be prudent, and therefore
they attempt the impossible - and achieve it, generation after
generation.”                                           - Pearl S. Buck

 “The rung of a ladder was never meant to rest upon, but only
 to hold a man's foot long enough to enable him to put the other
 somewhat higher.”                - Thomas Henry Huxley

“If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be
 lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations
 under them.”             - Henry David Thoreau

 “There are no shortcuts to any place worth going."             - Beverly Sills

"Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss you;ll land among
the stars."                                                                              - Les Brown

November '10

I admit that being referred to as a "stick in the mud" doesn't over-worry me. A failure to be infatuated by pursuing the ever-promoted methods of gaining personal success has meant that I never became the Prime Minister nor ever ascended to any high office in the world of work. Instead, I kept my head down ("beneath the parapets" is an expression I've often heard) and paid more respect to the worlds of common sense and experience.

The best remembered and most useful lesson from my schooldays (around some sixty years ago!) came from someone whom many would consider to be one of the last type of person to offer valuable "pearls of wisdom". It was our maths master, George T. Beckwith, who told us to "always check your answer for reasonableness". I've lost count of the number of times that following this advice and rejecting an erroneous line of thought has saved one's bacon as well as provoking admiration! In the days when I did weekly supermarket shopping, I used to keep a running total in my head of the cost of the items and surprise the cashier by tendering the exact sum! Of course, beside the successful use of this tenet in solving problems of mental arithmetic, many everyday queries are also covered.

When pocket calculators first became publicly available, I little foresaw their widespread use in addition, particularly by shop assistants and felt quite embarrassed at their use, particularly for only a few items. I became self-taught on computing before I found them most helpful when I was church treasurer Speaking of computing reminds me of the plethora of jokes (mostly amusing!) circulating via the internet today. Although current surveys show that many more folk in this country can now access computers than those who can't, I'll repeat one of the jokes which made me smile:

The world of computers has taken many of our familiar everyday words and given them completely different meanings! A DISC used to be something that slipped when you hurt your back. A WEB was what a spider made, and a RAM was a male sheep A NET was for fishing or to hold your hair in place and a MOUSE was a furry little creature with whiskers. BUGS and VIRUSES were something you caught that made you ill, and CHIP went with fish. A HACKER was someone with a bad cough and a CURSOR was someone with bad language. A LOAD went on a lorry and a BOOT went on your foot. You found builders or caravans on a SITE and you parked your car on a DRIVE. A ZIP held your clothes together and a FLOPPY meant limp You hung your washing ONLINE, You sent a CARD at CHRISTMAS, and a DESKTOP was a place for your blotter. You called a butler or a waitress a SERVER and a religious artefact was an ICON. WALLPAPER brightened! up a room and

MOTHER BOARD was mum when she was fed up!

Times change, don't they?  Not always for the better!           All the best,                     Mike Ireland


“Affirmation statements are going beyond the reality of the present into the
creation of the future through the words you use in the now."             - Louise L. Hay


"Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that
you plant."                                                      -  Robert Louis Stevenson


“You've got to win in your mind before you win in your life.”                - John Addison
“Any idea, plan, or purpose may be placed in the mind through
 repetition of thought.”                                             - Napoleon Hill


“End your day by privately looking directly into your eyes in the mirror and saying, 'I love you!' Do this for thirty days and watch how you transfe   - Mark Victor Hansen


"...repetitive words and phrases are merely methods of convincing the subconscious mind. It’s the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief. And once that belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen."                                              - C.M .Bristol

January '11

First of all, may I wish you, whether a regular or new reader, a Happy New Year. To celebrate this time, I’ll try to refrain from grumpy thoughts albeit the weather at the time of writing is somewhat inclement. I don’t know now what it will be like when you get this; probably, most of us long for an improvement anyway.

In case the weather is still unfavourable when this article appears, in an attempt to cheer you up, I’ll mention some things where people are pleased at the onset of snow. (prompted by radio listeners’ comments). When I saw the refuse lorry reversing down our snow-covered cul-de-sac, I felt a tinge of pride remembering when I used to calculate the operatives’ pay. Those who have to remove chewing gum from icy pavements must be pleased, also farmers who will spend less on insecticides after a cold spell has killed many of the pests. Apart from strict dieters (for medical or personal reasons), the majority of folk prefer to have an alleged excuse to eat cakes and puddings. Reluctant gardeners welcome the time when their white garden can look as attractive as their neighbour’s.

I expect that we may know of (and, possibly, envy) those unaffected by our weather, probably because of being abroad on holiday.. Mine include a local newsreader who honeymooned in Jamaica and a friend who went to Australia. Good for them!

The following thoughts demonstrate my tendency to retain my feelings as a former chorch treasurer - firstly, I hope you didn't keep your magazine deliverer waiting too long while you searched for some cash for the subscription. We owe a huge debt of gratitude to tho volunteers who make sure we get our magazine each month, regardless of the weather.  We have been reminded of the desire (need?) to increase subscrilpion levels; an easy way is for readers to show their neighbours a copy and tell them  the advantages of having it regularly (not forgetting the discount or value as a local trade directory).  It may well produce useful results if you leave a recent copy on the pile of reading materialis in the waiting area of such Thorpe organisations as hotels, hairdressers, doctors and several other places..

Thanks for your time reading this.
                                                            All the best for 2011


"Almost all absurdity of conduct arises from the imitation of those whom
we cannot resemble."                                                      - Samuel Johnson


"Once conform, once do what others do because they do it, and a kind
of lethargy steals over all the finer senses of the soul."
                                                         - Michel Eyquem de Montaigne

"Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version
of somebody else."                                   - Judy Garland

"Almost every man wastes part of his life in attempts to display qualities
which he does not possess, and to gain applause which he cannot
keep."                                - Samuel Johnson

"It is the chiefest point of happiness that a man is willing to be what he
is."                                             - Desiderius Erasmus